Where Were The Stripes

I saw stars but where were the strips? The Pinstripes in fact. The clutch hit, the sacrifice fly, the something that would have, should have had the Bombers moving easily past the Detroit Bengals. Now to be truthful - don't say it Janice - I don't think this should have even gone five games. The Yankee lineup is twice that of the Detroit crew and the Bronx bullpen could save nearly any game on the Brinx this season.

So here we are. Congratulations to the Tigers. The Yankees have some work to do, maybe getting more pitching, some blue collar outfielders who can hit in the clutch, and hope Minka and DJ don't re-unite as we saw the results as Derek hit .330 the rest of the way.

So though we had some fun, it is again a year of failure. No championship and no parade, hey that ain't OK.

We better win it all next year.

Granderson for Most Valuable Yankee

Is this guy aces or what? I should have known when my cousin Freddie told me he had him on his fantasy team that Granderson was great cause Freddie knows ball, but to be honest fantasy baseball is for weiners.

But to my point, Curtis those two catches last night saved the bacon of more than one guy but none more so than AJ. Thanks for the 5 2/3 innings of mediocrity now go cash your check. We're moving on to game five and it's a showdown in the Bronx with El Tigres.

Bring it on Kitty Cats.

Well Whaddya Know

The Yankees came up the victors in a game that took two days to finish. Nice. You were super Nova, and I really mean it. (Looks like that joke isn't going away so get used to it.) The rain trickled as did the Tigers offense until a late inning surge. Reminder to Larry - do not call me during games anymore to see if your cable receives a quicker signal than mine. Enough with that already.

OK so tomorrow we are putting up a Garcia, not Andy and certainly not Sergio, but a crafty one named Freddie.

Let's go make the Universe proud fellas.

Wow Baseball

On what was maybe the most exciting night coast to coast in the history of Major League Baseball, I'm still drunk off of that cheap beer Chris bought, and I still can't believe how it all played out. Those brats from Boston let their fans down yet again...like a Timex with a gag reflex they take a licking and keep on ...losing in September. And that's fine with Fredi Gonzalez and his Atlanta Braves who blew a lead almost as large in the last month and then gave it up last night in the late inning swoon.

This was history fellas. I was watching with Jimmy, Dougie, Bernie and Al, Twice Charlie and The Gilberto Brothers. Jimmy you owe me ten bucks by the way. We had some fun and some laughs, none harder than when Bernie dangled spoons of his nose and sang Tenth Avenue Freeze Out with Al on imaginary horns.

Let the games begin.

Clinching First

As it always is and always will be, first place is the Yankees natural state and tonight they proved that yet again as they clinched the American League East. Champagne was poppin' post game and even Kim Jones got soaked. I think of her like a sister at this point so seeing her there all lathered up with suds did little for me. Oh well.

Let's get ready for October fellas.

Yankee Fans Up The Way

It's almost too much fun watching the Stinky Red Sox have to cheer us on as we try and help them make the post season. Will they send us flowers? We like blue violets Dustin.

Cano Doing It Again

Robinson Cano is now officially the best player on the team. Grandy might be having the best year but Cano is clearly the best hitter and his fielding is Gold Glove caliber. He's turning into a Yankee lifer and we may not see his number worn again at this pace. He's named after the great Jackie Robinson and that alone should be enough to declare him a YANKEE GREAT.

C'mon fellas, don't take your foot off the pedal now!

Thumbing It

A-Rod's thumb is still barking, not because he jammed it two weeks ago and not because it needs another week's rest but because the guy is getting freaking old. This guy better come back strong next year or the contract he signed is gonna make the AOL-Time Warner deal look brilliant.

CC tonight. Go get em good guys.

That's More Like It

The Yanks made it through another Burnett outing and the bullpen looked as good as Brooke Burke in a bikini. Those patsies from Beantown went down 2 games to 1 and now the Yanks should make their move. If only my cousin Roseanne would move her Camaro now so I can get my car outta the driveway because the fellas are waiting for me over at Stan's. Roseanne! You're Burnetting me!

Lady Says No Baseball

Irene says no games so we can't play. I haven't met this kind of Woman since my ex, Donna. Donna if you're reading this, you took my leather jacket and you know it.

Yanx Set Record With Three Big Doinkers

Robinson Cano, Russell Martin, and Curtis "Isn't He" Granderson all hit Big Doinkers today setting an all time major league record. Three Grand Slams have never been done before, as in EVER, unless you count Jeter's weekend in Cabo in '98. Nice work fellas.

Things I Would Trade AJ Burnett For Right Now:

1- An AJ Burnett baseball card
2- Some lint
3- Sparky Lyle's Moustache
4- Present day Nolan Ryan
5- Rain

Pull the trigger CASHman.

Grinding It Out

Tonight was a good win because they wanted C.C. to get back on track and yet all these dingers make one think they need to be hot come post-season.  Speaking of post-season I am saying it right now Tommy, we're watching at our place this year because your family is too freaking loud and they bother me.

NY Steak Joint Definitely Cool

I recently tried the NY Yankee Steak House and I can say with confidence it's a home run. Freaking-A, the steak was fantastic, the oysters fresh and the location primo. The waiter wasn't Bubba Crosby which woulda been a nice touch but hey I still give it Four Freaking Stars.

Oh, and good win today against the halos.

What A Bunch of Losers

Do the ugly boys from Beantown realize their "Friday Night" red shirts are as ridiculous as singing "Sweet Caroline" at a baseball game? The Yanks need to pound them into the hill tomorrow because C.C. had a rare bump in the road today and those rodents in red acted out their childhood fantasy of having their leadoff hitter hit three run homers. Someone slap that Pillsbury kid will ya? Where did he get those eyebrows anyway? Someone make Papi nervous in the box. Someone make sure these Yankees understand that second place isn't good enough. Before the playoffs even.

Chavezzing in the Rain

Eric Chavez has always been a special player. Gifted with great hands and a technically sound fielder he also could hit back in the dAy's when he played for Oakland. As he comes back to play 3rd tonight we see him playing well, trying to earn a spot at the pipe until our clean up hitter gets back to being an RBI lothario. AJ is taking the hill which means we should be in the game until the 5th inning. You're a #2 starter AJ maybe you could at least pitch like a #3? Cause sometimes you pitch like the other #2.

AJ The Butcher

If he sold meat, he might be the most valuable guy on the team. I say that because AJ Burnett continues to be a butcher, hacking his way through innings until he hits bone where he believes the only way out is right down the pike. Come on AJ. Throw the freaking changeup will ya? And to boot, the attitude. Come on man, you know everyone's watching you so stop the theatrics, the eyerolls, the sourpuss Mr. Macho angry face you make anytime Joe comes to get you. You should be an ace, not slapping bacon.

The Greatest

If Babe Ruth were here today what would you tell him? Well hold that thought just a minute because he is here, in the modern form of Mariano Rivera. The man is such a great pitcher it's beyond any current means of measurement and the guy's more of a class act that maybe anyone in all of sports. We ain't never seeing a guy like this again. So enjoy and thanks Mo.

C.C. For Yourself

With his record in pinstripes and his slide-stopping ability, he is a definite ACE and he just may go down as one of the greatest of all Yankee hurlers. As we await the return of Phil Hughes' stuff and Joba's presence we all need to be reminded that you can still buy W's if you spend your dollars just right. C.C. doesn't get enough credit in a league that resents the Universe's winning ways and yet he never balks at the press stand. Can we be grateful enough? I don't freaking think so.

And here's a call out to one of our favorite Yankees, our sure handed first baseman Mark Teixeira: Big guy, we need you. A-Rod is eating sushi with Cameron Diaz as his knee mends and we need that .240 average to creep towards the more respectable .280 mark before season's end. The power is there but the regularity ain't. Come on Tex!

And lastly congratulations to Robinson Cano for winning the Home Run Derby which has turned into a freak show crossed with a circus. But congrats anyway, Robbie you can slug with the best of them now.

Captain 3000

As if pre-written by the Baseball History Book, our beloved Captain not only hit his 3000th ball but did it with a shot of a homer and then he turns around and wins the game with a single in the 8th. Need we say more? Probably not but we will. This guy is so tremendous that he transcends, as they say, the sport. In this hyper-specialized world we live in where there's a type of dentist for every different tooth, here's a guy who isn't the greatest in any single category, but is one of the greats ever. While all the numbers crunchers complain of his fielding percentage averages and other assorted crapola, in the things that always seemed important to me: winning, effort and sportsmanship, he is the best.

We know where you went Joe DiMaggio...you went to shortstop.