Bronx Zoology

If I didn't know better I'd thought I was wearing my Tony Manero white three piece while doubling up on some slices from Ray's...because this team reminds me of '78 when we could see early on Billy's drinking and Reggie's straw-stirring weren't a good match.

Jorge apologizes but to who? Cashman makes amends but for what? The Yankee brass is supposedly angry at Jeter but why? Suddenly this thing's got us playing Marcia Clark and her haircut would look awful on me. So let's not.

Let's give Jorge the benefit of the doubt. Whatever that even means. Let's say all of you, Cash, Joe G, Jeter, Swisher, Harpo and even Zeppo, howsa bout ALL of you get together and figure out a ways to WIN.

OK?

Bronx Chaos

As the vaunted Yankees dropped ANOTHER game to those yellow bellied jack o lanterns from Beantown, Jorge Posada asks out of the game and then all hell broke loose. Joe Buck sat there stammering with Sarah Silverman, a famous pink hat, while Tim McCarver looked as if he wanted to leave the country. Two bleeps later FOX was hoping to return their credibility (wait, ....ok nevermind) when Cashman goes on and says "it wasn't injury it was...". When did Brian Cashman turn into Monte Hall? I want answers people.

So as we sit here awaiting word on what's up Georgie, we need to figure out how to make this team better. Kevin Long? Hey Hall of Famer's go through long stretches where nobody can hit and nobody looks around at this guy. Messing with Jeter's swing, changing Alex's leg kick, suddenly this guys turning into Bob Fosse.

Gimme a freaking break.

Freedom Rings

It's only appropriate that the greatest team that ever was claims victory on this day. God Bless America and the New York Yankees.

Balti-less Is More

So off we went, our yearly excursion to the land of crab cakes and rain showers. The Yankees went on a three game set to Baltimore and ended up playing two, because of Friday night's constant drizzle. What that meant for me was something akin to a Roman Festival Meal at a local seafood house on the pier. Mussels in white wine should be served at da Stadium without question.

The Pin Stripes won both games, one a big hitting laugher and another a nervous laugher in extra innings. Granderson looks to be saving our bacon a bit much for a number 2 hitter but we'll take it.

We will be back to do some more damage later in the year and hopefully the city has double upped on tartar sauce by then.

Two Outta Three Ain't Good

Come on for freaking out loud. One of three out of the Boston series to a team that can't get outta it's own freakin' way? Joe, light me a fire baby, we need some warriors come playoff time so harness up the oxbow and teach them boys how to hunt!

What the heck am I talking about?

Let's Rumble

It's underway in the Bronx and my shorts are riding high. The team looks solid. AJ has shown up so far but he's under permanent microscope duty this year. The team is 4-2 and just in time to meet the incoming pansies from up the Pike. This season is young and so are my Uncle Louie's girlfriend's lately, but youth springs eternally and if we can get some hitting and some pitching moving in the same direction this weekend, it'll be one dollar drafts at Stan's all weekend.

Is It Thursday Yet?

I always get extra excited this time of year. It's the smell of spring or something other than pot roast.

The 2011 season is coming soon and the weatherman better cooperate. I wanna hear about snow less than Mayor Bloomberg right about now.

Curtis Granderson's so excited he pulled a lavitcus muscle jumping up and down on the team bus. I'm gonna go outside now and check the barometer.

Stay tuned.

The Pitch

So as we approach the holiday known as Opening Day, I've broken out the good china for an assortment of Hot Dogs and Nachos. And good thing I did because Bartolo Colon looks to be coming north with the team and he certainly is no stranger to the buffet table.

CC on the other hand looks slim and trim, and we like him more and more every year. Phil Hughes should come ready because he is now officially an important part of this team. No more kid stuff Phillip, it's time to thicken those pin stripes and be the star we know you can be. Nova looks to be riding the fourth spot in the rotation and we only hope he's Chevy tough. As for AJ, well at best we think he's a numskull, but he's OUR numskull so go get em AJ.

The pen was bolstered by the Soriano signing though Cashman is still angry. Mo is the coolest guy on the team, slightly usurping the Captain and we can't wait to see him. Joba looks a bit hefty but as long as he throws smoke he can have all the wings he wants. Robertson? Just don't throw too many straight down the middle and you should be fine.

The manager and the bench all look good and hopefully they got enough sunflower seeds to get them through November.

Pack your Tampa bags next week and come to the Stadium, and don't forget to bring the weather with you.

Around The Horn

As we finally approach Opening Day we can put away the mittens, the Chapstick and the hot cocoa and get our balls and bats ready for the 2011 Season.

The Yankees are making their way through the Tampa pre-season like a lukewarm knife through fudge. But being of the mind that it's better to stay quiet and prepare, this year's Yankees are playing it cool.

Taking a gander round the horn we can see our team on a more one-on-one basis.

Jorge won't be behind the dish as much anymore and that's too bad for us Jorge fans but it's unfortunately also probably bad news for last years opposing base runners. Russell Martin should be a solid backstop as Big Baby Jesus II is in the on deck circle.

First is Tex's domain and he seems to be ready to mash but it's his glove I love.

Second base is covered by newly minted superstar Robbie Cano, whaddya know.

Third base hinges on A-Rod's hip but he looks good enough to Twist and Shout.

And at Shortstop is El Capitaine, everyone's poster boy, Derek Jeter.  His new contract clearly expresses his feelings that there's no place like home.

And in the Outfield we got speed and good haircuts in Gardner, Granderson and Swisher.

Let's see if we can put together our wood and make this lineup SWING.

Thanks Andy

Andy Pettitte's gonna take one of the greatest pickoff moves of all time back to his home in TX and we kinda had a feeling. I mean why would a guy with 5 rings and truckfuls of wampum come back to a team that has a 'going rogue' GM and a guy named Sergio pitching behind you. (Isn't Sergio officially a waiter's name?...I need a fork Sergio)

But in any case we thank you Anderoo, 240 victories of hard fought, cap down to the brim-of-his-eyes Yankee baseball.

But stay by the phone Andy, we may need you come June, if we call just let it ring FIVE times.