Dear Derek,
We know you are working hard to get back to work, and although Mr. Nunez hasn't played poorly, his cast iron hands are a constant reminder to us how much we need you. Not to mention you're just a few AB's away from the 3,000 club and that's gonna sell a crap load of memorabilia and I got a buddy who owns two stands at the Stadium so ...we look forward to that milestone. While you are reading this, and getting a back rub from a bikini wearing Ms. Kelly, ...I am left wondering why I am even writing to you as I struggle to hold that visual in my head.
Yours truly,
The Fans Maldonado
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