Wow Baseball

On what was maybe the most exciting night coast to coast in the history of Major League Baseball, I'm still drunk off of that cheap beer Chris bought, and I still can't believe how it all played out. Those brats from Boston let their fans down yet again...like a Timex with a gag reflex they take a licking and keep on ...losing in September. And that's fine with Fredi Gonzalez and his Atlanta Braves who blew a lead almost as large in the last month and then gave it up last night in the late inning swoon.

This was history fellas. I was watching with Jimmy, Dougie, Bernie and Al, Twice Charlie and The Gilberto Brothers. Jimmy you owe me ten bucks by the way. We had some fun and some laughs, none harder than when Bernie dangled spoons of his nose and sang Tenth Avenue Freeze Out with Al on imaginary horns.

Let the games begin.

Clinching First

As it always is and always will be, first place is the Yankees natural state and tonight they proved that yet again as they clinched the American League East. Champagne was poppin' post game and even Kim Jones got soaked. I think of her like a sister at this point so seeing her there all lathered up with suds did little for me. Oh well.

Let's get ready for October fellas.

Yankee Fans Up The Way

It's almost too much fun watching the Stinky Red Sox have to cheer us on as we try and help them make the post season. Will they send us flowers? We like blue violets Dustin.

Cano Doing It Again

Robinson Cano is now officially the best player on the team. Grandy might be having the best year but Cano is clearly the best hitter and his fielding is Gold Glove caliber. He's turning into a Yankee lifer and we may not see his number worn again at this pace. He's named after the great Jackie Robinson and that alone should be enough to declare him a YANKEE GREAT.

C'mon fellas, don't take your foot off the pedal now!

Thumbing It

A-Rod's thumb is still barking, not because he jammed it two weeks ago and not because it needs another week's rest but because the guy is getting freaking old. This guy better come back strong next year or the contract he signed is gonna make the AOL-Time Warner deal look brilliant.

CC tonight. Go get em good guys.

That's More Like It

The Yanks made it through another Burnett outing and the bullpen looked as good as Brooke Burke in a bikini. Those patsies from Beantown went down 2 games to 1 and now the Yanks should make their move. If only my cousin Roseanne would move her Camaro now so I can get my car outta the driveway because the fellas are waiting for me over at Stan's. Roseanne! You're Burnetting me!

Lady Says No Baseball

Irene says no games so we can't play. I haven't met this kind of Woman since my ex, Donna. Donna if you're reading this, you took my leather jacket and you know it.

Yanx Set Record With Three Big Doinkers

Robinson Cano, Russell Martin, and Curtis "Isn't He" Granderson all hit Big Doinkers today setting an all time major league record. Three Grand Slams have never been done before, as in EVER, unless you count Jeter's weekend in Cabo in '98. Nice work fellas.

Things I Would Trade AJ Burnett For Right Now:

1- An AJ Burnett baseball card
2- Some lint
3- Sparky Lyle's Moustache
4- Present day Nolan Ryan
5- Rain

Pull the trigger CASHman.

Grinding It Out

Tonight was a good win because they wanted C.C. to get back on track and yet all these dingers make one think they need to be hot come post-season.  Speaking of post-season I am saying it right now Tommy, we're watching at our place this year because your family is too freaking loud and they bother me.